Late Night Commentary...

Thanks to my insomnia, I'm now up to watch late-night tv. I tend to watch Comedy Central or something on one of the Discovery Channels. A few nights ago I was treated to a mini-marathon of TV Funhouse. Tonight was Shorties Watching Shorties. My love for good stand-up comedy knows no bounds. But the commercials. The commercials!

Late-night Comedy Central invariably means multiple Girls Gone Wild commercials.

"Are you into half-naked college chicks totally obliviated to the point where they find that obnoxious troll Doug Stanhope attractive?"

What? Obviously there's a market for these stupid videos. I don't judge the girls for doing it-- go for it, if that's what makes you happy. If having a million late-night tv viewers watch carefully censored shots of you kissing your equally-drunk best friend and frolicking in your Girls Gone Wild panties is your idea of a good time-- have at it.

How many of those videos are necessary? It's like porn-- there's really just a limited amount of plots for porn and we all know how it ends.

"Hey! I wonder if the disgusting hosts are going to get her to flash the camera with her friends. Maybe she'll say no this time...Oh! They'll give her a free t-shirt to end up as spank material for lonely old men. Yep! There she goes! Boobies!"

Ten years from now when those "crazy college coeds" are married with 2.5 kids, that'll come back to bite them in the ass. I'm calling that now. They'll be at a PTA meeting and in a super-secret coup, they'll be kicked out because someone dug up an old Girls Gone Wild tape in the garage. Will they still think it was so fun when they're fifty? It's kind of sick. Get girls to sign away their dignity and rights to their own bodies. Great idea! Until mom/dad/boyfriend/girlfriend sees you on late-night tv in the commercials. But hey, it'd make for animated holiday dinner talk.

I don't think I'd trust a man that bought all those tapes for any reason other than a joke. What exactly is sexy about completely crocked girls? Sleazy shit. Some of them look barely legal. I have, however, spoken to males that think the tapes are boring. I must concur. Guys, is there nothing better you can spend your money on? Go see a stripper and get a lapdance or something. Then at least some of the money goes to the woman.


Oh, yes, and a momentary SCREW YOU to Always for the commercials telling me to have a happy period. Yeah, sure. Once I'm done being nauseous, bloated, angry, and the bleeding stops. Then I'll be happy. This goes for the "new" packaging with the flowers on them. Right. Flowers make everything better, even spending a week drinking so much water that I feel like I'm in detox and having the personality of a hungry bear.



...just felt like doing a little anonymous yelling :)