Pauly Shore is... Gross

Whatever is in Simply Sleep, it works. Knocked me out faster than watching a Lifetime movie with Tori Spelling.

Today I did get to the pool with my mom...but we only made it for about 45 minutes before the neighborhood kids took over. Hell, a pool on a hot day is exactly where I would have wanted to be if I were 6 or 7, but their parents just let them run wild. One kid kept spashing water on the side of the pool and all over us, had to be around 9 times. His mom just sat there, while I shook the water off of my book and contemplated throwing her in. I know what my mom would have done if I had done that when I was little-- I would have heard my whole name and my stuff would be packed up before I had a chance to splash again. The lifeguards appear to have completed puberty this year, but I think I saw them stand up once and they totally ignored the small children doing cannonballs on each other's heads in the deep end. I must be getting old or something.

I took a walk earlier tonight, and discovered that bees love my shampoo. Actually, it was a sample of Herbal Essences left over from the gift basket from my cruise earlier this year. I figured I may as well use it before I move, besides, it's likely the closest I'm going to get to an "organic experience" anytime soon. I could really only laugh when I got dive bombed and buzzed by the same bee for about 10 minutes. My hair smelled way better than the air around this city, and thanks to the KFC down the road, it smells roughly like someone was cooking fried chicken in Satan's armpit.

I think I'll rent a movie off demand tonight, the last one I got was Lemony Snicket (nice grown-up flick. cute, though.) By the way, don't waste any time ever watching Pauly Shore is Dead. I thought that since I loved his movies (except Jury Duty) that it would be funny. I didn't make it too far, it wasn't long before my eyes burned at the sight of him whacking off in bed under the covers and almost hitting Verne Troyer with his car. It wasn't really what I had in mind. I wish I'd found it funnier, maybe I was just in a bad mood when I watched it. Go Pauly, get your comeback, but please don't ever do anymore masturbation scenes. I hear he has a new sitcom coming...